Did You Use In Vitro?

by Kelli West
(Utah)

When I was pregnant and people found out I was having twins, besides all of the "are they identical?" and "does it run in your family?" and all the other great ones, surprisingly enough I got asked this question first... "Did you use In Virto or fertility drugs?"

-FIRST off, that is a VERY personal question. I don't get how people can just go up to someone they hardly know, or don't know at all and asked if they used drugs. I usually would just respond with a "no they were a surprise to us. No drugs needed" but that might not be the case with everyone, and if I had used drugs for help I might be offended by the question. That is such a personal subject. no one should ask that. Tsk tsk people. Realize how rude you are being.

Comments for Did You Use In Vitro?

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Feb 13, 2012
 WERE THEY CONCEIVED NATURALLY?
by: Anonymous

answer with something equally as offensive... "No! Funny you should ask, but we actually conceived them Doggy Style!"
Oct 11, 2011
 Fertility treatments
by: Anonymous

I am 13 weeks with identical twins. I get the same question, and have no idea how to answer it. I was on fertility treatment, but still only ovulated 1 egg. There is a reluctance out there for women to admit that they needed help, and I am not ashamed of it, so I do try to answer truthfully (plus you find others who really needed someone else to talk to about the problems they are having). But you should see the look of confusion on peoples faces when I say yes, we were undergoing treatment, but my twins are natural!
Aug 05, 2011
 Clomid Twins
by: Coral

We conceived our twins after 2 years on clomid and yes people ask to much information. I have been open with my friends and family though as they were with me as I was going through it but my husbands cousins wife who has unfortuntaely recently had her 4th miscarriage wasn't so polite to me. She even told me it was impossible to have twins on Clomid! How do you respond to that apart from saying - well you're wrong and I did! I'd only told her the details about it so that she didn't think I was gloating about easy it was to get pregnant. Next time I'll just keep quiet!
Oct 07, 2010
 I agree
by: Anonymous

We've had lots of friends try to fall pregnant. My husband and I weren't trying and on the first go ended up with twins! It is a personal question and if you are feeling jealous rather keep quiet if you have nothing nice to say.
Sep 14, 2010
 personal
by: TwinMum

I don't really mind if close friends or family ask those sort of questions, it's when the strangers start in that really gets to me. What's it matter to them? Doesn't really matter to the close friends or family either but it's more acceptable for them to ask!
I think when people ask if the twins were delivered via c-section, they just want to know if you're superwoman for vaginally delivering not one but two babies at once or not...but still!
When I'm asked, I usually just say "wow that's kinda personal!" with a really indignant tone and they generally get the picture...
Sep 14, 2010
 similar
by: kelli

to me its also a similar situation when people ask if you had a c-section. then when you tell them "yes" they say, "oh, im sorry". IM NOT!! Sure i got cut open, but i got to stay in the hopsital longer with mmy babies AND I didnt get stretched out down yonder!!
OR
They ask if you gave birth to them.... I say, "uh, yeah" and its then, "well I meant did you have to have a c-section or did you have them natural" Lol...does it really matter how they came out? people are funny!!
Sep 13, 2010
 IVF Twins
by: Anonymous

I am expecting IVF twins after 4 years of trying, and I've already had a store clerk ask me if "they were natural? or did we have help? I plan to answer from now on "Yes, they are my natural children."
Jul 21, 2010
 funny
by: Anonymous

I like "my uterus has no comment" lol.... that is a good one.

Oh, and my boys turned 1 two weeks ago. I made it through the first year!! YAY!!
Jul 20, 2010
 IVF? Answer...
by: Anonymous

Im 7weeks pg with ivf twins and im preparing answers so I dont stand there blank faced when asked the nosey questions. Here's a coulpe I came up with...
Q:"So, did you get those twins with IVF?" Says nosey stranger
A:"Is that your way of saying you'd like to get to know me better?" OR
A:"My uterus has no comment" OR
A:"Why do you ask?"

I'll probably use the last answer for nicer ppl. I'm sure I will sence if they're reaching out. But as for the nosies...welp they're just signing up for my sarcasm ( :
Apr 28, 2010
 Same convo over and over
by: momof3boysntwingirls

I was in the hospital for 2 months while pregnant with my twins and every nurse on every shift of every day would ask the same questions. I would have the same convo over and over. Are they identical? Yes. Did you use IVF? No. Do twins run in your family? No, i'm the lucky one. Are they your 1st? Nope. I have 3boys at home. WOW! you have 3 boys at home too? You're going to have your hands full! HELLO? i have 3 boys at home, my hands are already full-these girls are going to be a walk in the park!! they are now 2months old and even with 2 at the same time, they've still been easier than all 3 boys at seperate times!
Mar 18, 2010
 Are they real twims?
by: TwinMum

I find "Did you use IVF" to be as rude and as inconsiderate as asking "So what sex position were you trying when you concieved?" Not that I've ever been asked the latter of the two, but still, it's no ones business!
Sometimes people say "Are they real twins?"....no these are those fake babies they give to teens in health class!
How many people get asked "Did you adopt that baby?" Probably only couples who adopt a baby of another ethnicity, but still....why ask how the baby came to be?
Feb 10, 2010
 funny
by: Anonymous

I have been asked that question many times. I tell them yes it was called Ortho tri cyclen. I got pregnant with my twins while on the pill. It does not surprise me because my first son was the same way. They give me a funny look then they change the subject really quick
Dec 29, 2009
 That Rude Question...
by: The Husband

My wife and I definitely find it rude when strangers ask us "Did you use IVF?" I now respond with this...
"No...Not IVF. It was beer and Doggy-Style over the kitchen table!"
Then I watch the shocked look on their face, especially from nosy seniors!
Dec 18, 2009
 Cleaver response needed
by: Anonymous

I am laughing at this as several people have already asked me and I am only 12 weeks. I have a 6 month at home that won't even be a year when the twins are born......which means we conceived when our 2nd child was 3 1/2 months old. Let me know if any of you have a cleaver response for this. I just look at them with a blank stare and think "really, did you just ask that?"
Dec 02, 2009
 any baby is a blessing...
by: Anonymous

Yeah, I guess it just depends on the persons personality. I have had several friends who used IVF and didn't like people asking. Some that had twins, and others that were pregnant with just a singleton.But the truth is any baby is a miracle. I have some friends that have ben trying for 9 years, and now they are starting to adopt. I am just grateful that I have my two beautiful boys. Now, any help on how to get them to sleep at the same time? lol... they will get on the same schedule, then they will go off. I guess it doesn't help that they both have a head cold right now. the poor little guys.
Dec 02, 2009
 Successful IVF
by: Anonymous

We've been pretty open about IVF but are always asked if its natural or IVF. I don't mind, it's expected. Before we started our multiples prenatal class I told the nurse we were IVF and she said "honey there all IVF" I mean that's probably an exageration but pretty close. They say the number of multiples has gone up 500%! Crazy number. True it is personal, but when you're so happy and feel so fortunate it did work your proud to announce it!

Nov 29, 2009
 Don't Mind
by: Anonymous

I don't mind when ppl ask me if my pregnancy was In Vitro or Spantaneuos. Twins are special and ppl are fascinated.
Nov 28, 2009
 people!
by: Anonymous

I hate to say, but that is just the beginning. I have 19 month b/g twins and it's gotten better and they don't ask as many questions. But when they were newborns EVERY trip I have several people make comments. The worst was probably when I had one woman ask, no not ask - state - I hope they're your last. You're not having more are you? For some reason, people are fascinated with multiples. Stay postive. They are a complete blessing no matter how they were conceived. Congrats to you!

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