The Jealous Singleton Moms...

I am expecting twins. The comment I get most often is "OOH, Twins!! I've always wanted twins, I'm SOOO jealous!!" I want to ask them if they have thought about what it would be like beyond picking out cute matching outfits! I have an 18 month old, and certainly wouldn't have chosen to have a high-risk twin pregnancy right now!!

Comments for The Jealous Singleton Moms...

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Nov 03, 2014
Singelton moms will never get it.
by: Anonymous

I have 10 month old twin boys. I'm very lucky yes....but you singleton mom's have no clue. Mom's with twins are a very special club which you don't belong to. There's enough mommy clubs out there for all of you. You can goo gaga all you want. Stangers can canoodle at your precious double troubles....but if you don't live it, you simply will never ever get it.

Aug 02, 2014
jealous? Don't think so. Just clueless!!
by: Anonymous

I for one have always been fascinated with twins and really wanted them.2 kids later I was blessed with my own set of twins. I never imagined how difficult and heavy being pregnant with twins was. I was uncomfortable in every position from 27weeks and thought I would seriously lose my marbles from sleep deprivation. Needless to say I was still happy in my pregnancy and really enjoyed the numerous questions from random strangers. People treated me like a queen. Twins are special, it is only natural to be curious albeit a bit misinformed.

Jun 04, 2014
Jealous Mum
by: Anonymous

I am a jealous singleton mum but I have experienced four pregnancy losses, one of which was twins. Twins are in our immediate family and my last two children are close together in age anyway (12 months) so compared to the pain of the repeated losses and surgery and extra testing etc I would have been joyful to carry twins despite the extra pain and tiredness as I've had to go through all of that already!!
It may get annoying people saying they are jealous but most people aren't just about the cuteness they just really want the opportunity to be a mum and twins are something special!
X

Oct 23, 2012
Seriously
by: more mommy

I found out a month ago I was pregnant again ( I have a 4 year old son and a @! mth old daughter) We were not trying to having anymore more babies at the time but low and behold I'm pregnant... I set up a dr appt and went three weeks later. Fully expecting to hear I was due in May or April (figured I was at least 8 weeks as sick as I was) I get there and my dr had to do an intravaginal ultrasound because I am only 5 weeks along with twins! I flipped out! But what I love is how EVERYONE and I do mean EVERYONE has said are you serious or is this a joke... followed by what did your husband say! I am scared outta my mind and it seems like no one even cares! Then theres the poor kids they aren't going to get near the attention they derserve! I can and will love al four babies no matter what! Sorry its all just new... so glad to find this website makes me feel better!

Aug 07, 2012
right...
by: Anonymous

A girl I work with who is 19-20 years old, no kids and always coomplaining that I am not at work (ie - puking in the am - so I'm late; leaving for dr appts that take hours; bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc; and just some days I can't get through without a nap or puking) said to me, "so twins hey? Im so jealous, I want twins." I do too, but I would never want to be pregnant with them again. Twice as much sickness, twice as much to worry about and generally a much higher risk for most problems right from the get go.... I had a miscarriage previous to this pregnancy and would be devestated if something happened to one of them now, but I am SO glad that I had a singleton first, because if I had twins the first time around I would have NEVER done this again

Oct 08, 2011
Blessings at a price.
by: Anonymous

Ok, I can understand why many women say they would love to have twins, but honestly I don't know how to respond. I am 25 weeks with twin girls (No ma'am we don't know if they're identical) and don't get me wrong, I do not want to change that. I already Love both my girls. However my husband has been unemployed for well over a year and has MS, we'll probably apply for disability soon but it will most likely be years before we get it. In the meantime I have already had to quit my job as an RN at a nursing home and am doing home visits part time. We already can't pay quite all of the bills. My Dr. and midwife both say I should not expect to work past Thanksgiving... which means I have to decide if I should stop working and risk getting evicted, utilities shut off and our vehicle repossessed, or if I should keep working and risk my girls coming prematurely and possibly having life-long health problems or even dying. Twins are amazing and special and I am trying not to lose sight of the good parts of this experience but this pregnancy has already been much harder than my (2yr old) son's and I would not wish these financial problems on anybody.

Apr 28, 2011
jealous mommy
by: Anonymous

I have 4 little ones and even knowing all the work have always wanted twins. My last pregnancy was a twin pregnancy and I lost one of the babies. Perhaps I.stead of assuming the person who is jealous is ignorant of all a twin pregnancy includes... try to remember there might be more to the story. The lose of my baby destroyed me and made my whole pregnancy hard. I would give anything to have had my twins. Why be angry that people see you are blessed. Besides annoying questions and comments come at you in every pregnancy.

Sep 09, 2010
...
by: Anonymous

I havent had too many jealous singleton moms maybe like one or two but EVERYONE ELSE seems to say wow i feel sorry for you! I'm glad its you instead of me! And I too hate the comments about people having stillborns. I do feel sorry for them and I have no clue how they could possibly feel but my heart does go out to all the moms who have had stillborns and miscarriages. But at the same time I dont want to worry and stress during my pregnancy about it. I mean some people say that its because of the water here (rumor has it that theres lead in the water not sure if thats everywhere or just off base) I've always drank bottled water but what about ice? I mean do I need to start making bottled water ice? It seems like people want me to worry and stress during my pregnancy. And its always the people who have (and only want) kid or who dont have any kids (and dont want them) that tell me these stories!

Aug 18, 2010
Uggg
by: Anonymous

I totally understand. My twins are 3 weeks old and since 8 weeks pregnant I have known they were twins. I get so sick and tired of people telling me stories of everyone they know who has twins. I dont care! I know lots of people have twins these days, its great! I love my girls :) I however dont care about your brothers wifes cousin who has twins. I also have people tell me all of the time "I have always wanted twins" I do feel lucky dont get me wrong but face it, not everyone has twins so move on! I would like more money to care for my twins hows that? lol Not everyone is rich either. Life. haha

Aug 18, 2010
It's all worth it, right?
by: Anonymous

I'm one of those jealous moms. :) I'm sorry if that offends anyone. I've always been fascinated with the special bond that twins have. I always wanted to have twins, but I didn't think I could conceive them. Well, about 4 years ago, I miscarried twins. Since then, I've wanted "a second chance". I understand that there would be more of everything (pain, nausea, fatigue, etc.), but I know that it would be worth it to bring 2 healthy, happy babies into the world. I also have the blessing of friends, family, and even my older kids to help. My 7-yr-old daughter is excited that we're pregnant (7 wks & counting), and she's been a huge help already!

Aug 02, 2010
I'm glad I'm not alone...
by: Anonymous

This has made me feel sooo much better! I'm 21 weeks, it's my first pregnancy and while I'm so happy that everything has progressed well and my babies are healthy, I'm also so tired of people in general wanting to discuss it. Yes, I still feel like crap, yes I know I'm just going to get even bigger, yes, I know I'm just going to get even more tired (if that's humanly possible)... I know that sounds mean, but you never know what's going to come out of someone's mouth! Or what may come out of mine in return...

The comments that have driven my husband and I the most crazy are the "stories" people like to tell us (upon hearing we're expecting twins) of people they knew who were having twins, but then only one twin made it. SERIOUSLY???? Would you go up to a woman having one baby and share random miscarriage stories with her? I doubt it.

May 27, 2010
I agree
by: Anonymous

I hear ya. I also get people who feel the need to tell me stories about people they know who have twins and yadayadayada. I dont care people! I do feel blessed to be pregnant with Identical Girls. I do not however like my ligament ripping on my right side that brings me to my knees, my huge stomach, my million stretch marks, my painful hips, my leg cramps, and the fact that I dont get any sleep already :( I am 27 weeks.


May 12, 2010
I AM jealous!
by: anonymous

I'm sorry to read so many comments from mothers complaining about the rigors of multiple pregnancies. After years of infertility and going through IVF, after one failed pregnancy, I am pregnant with twins and pray every day that I am able to carry them to term. At my age, if I don't have twins, then I don't have two children. Possibly ANY children. period. I would trade with any of you who need bed rest, have hemmorhoids, are exhausted or are suffering in any way to have a family. I'll find out this friday if they survived this time...so far.

Apr 26, 2010
Crazy Talk
by: Meg

Oh im so glad i am not alone!
Im 30 weeks preg with twins, Little boy and a little girl!
I do feel blessed dont get me wrong but i am soooo sick of everyone saying

"Twins? Ooooh wow... you'r going to have your hands full, are you scared?!"
Yes we are, but firstly if we didnt want more babies we wouldnt of tried! and secondly we did TRY for twins! haha we are just lucky!(we have 2 others!)

"Oh your soooo big! you look Fantastic!?" do these two even go together? but thanks, im feeling huge and not so fantastic!

"Are they identical??" Well.... being that there is a boy and a girl - lets hope not! haha

AND this one the most...

"Just sit down, put your feet up, dont worry about the house, relax, let your husband do it!" I do rest... and i know they mean well but i have 2 other kids, a house and a husband! i just cant do nothing all day!
i AM looking after myself, my babies AND my family, even tho i am not laying on tghe couch 24/7 - AND omg laying down isnt even comfortable! lol! It would drive me crazy letting the house go and my husband works 12hrs a day! its hardly fair on him either!

all in all i guess unless you have been here you really wouldnt know. I know everyone means well and i love them all for it.
Im looking forward to hearing lots of other silly things once our twins are born :D

Apr 08, 2010
Jealous?
by: Anonymous

Well, I have to admit ladies... I was one of those 'jealous' people :o) I had always been convinced I would have twins some day. Now, in my fourth pregnancy I'm expecting twin boys and I'm ecstatic! I've always marveled at the miracle of twins and they certainly are much for the eyes and heart to take in. When I said 'I've always wanted twins' I sure meant it! I find the attention and questions highly amusing and there sure are worse things to get all that attention for :o)

Mar 05, 2010
Singleton Mom
by: Marlina

I just wanted to say you all are great! My best friend just found out today that she is having twins and is feeling all of these emotions that you are talking about, so I figured I would help her find a "community" that understands what she is going through. This seems like the perfect place for her. By the way, I did say that I always wanted twins! Sorry, I will never say it to a another twin-pregnancy mother again! lol I honestly didn't realize it was annoying. I have twin nephews and never though twice about it. I have 3 sons, and a single pregnancy is hard enough towards the end, so I just couldn't imagine a multiple one. Good luck everyone!

Feb 02, 2010
agreement
by: Anonymous

Very much agree with you comments!
I have b/g twins and yet I always get; are they fraternal? What? DUH!!!

Or singleton parents who think they know what it's like. My mother asked why I didn't feed on demand, seriously!

I love my babies, wouldn't change it for the WORLD, but handful is an understatement.

Jan 31, 2010
Relax
by: Anonymous

I have always wanted twins and love when people ask me questions about them. People are curious and that's not a horrible thing. I get that it is annoying, but relax there are more important things to be annoyed with. Believe it or not some women do realize how hard having twins are and STILL want them.

Jan 23, 2010
30 weeks...
by: Anonymous

...is about when I started getting the "You're about due any day now, aren't you?" comments! Then to see the looks on their faces when I'd say "Nope, still have a couple months...!". Priceless! :) I even had one obnoxious woman say "Wow, don't have that baby right here!". I just rolled my eyes and kept on waddling even though I felt like smacking her :)

Jan 23, 2010
Sister's crazy needs
by: Anne

I have a sister who has always wanted twins..When she found out that I was expecting them, she cried, told me she was happy for me, but sad it was not her. She's several years older than I am, has knees that have almost nothing left to them, and is quite overweight. She did not talk to me for a couple of months. Ok..those are her issues, not mine. Now that we are talking though, I make it a point to express to her how much more painful this is than a normal pregnancy, how I am 30 weeks, but feel almost due, how the SPD is just bad, the cramps, everything that goes with it. Now, I thank God for these babies, and am grateful to have been chosen to carry them, but it sure is not easy!

Jan 21, 2010
fed up
by: Anonymous

I completely understand. I have four kids already and the one comment I hear on almost a daily baisis is "Twins, 6 kids? what are you going to do?"
what the heck? ummm.... let me see.....take care of them?!! duh!!!
People act like i'll be doomed and become old mother hubbard because i'll have 6 kids. Come on people!

Jan 20, 2010
thank god I am not alone!
by: Anonymous

This website is a god-send! This is my first pregnancy, and it is kicking my butt! Best thing is, four other girlfriends are pregnant with singletons right now and feeling great- NOT ME! I'm twice the size; everything hurts; I haven't had a good night sleep in two months; a new car is needed to fit all of this gear; I am on bed rest; and all I hear is the famous, "You SHOULD be so grateful!" I am a twin as well, and believe you-me, I am grateful because I understand just how great of a childhood I had, and I can share that with my kids in a different way. But who gives these women the authority to tell me the way I SHOULD be feeling when they more than likely haven't done this?! Ugh!

Jan 12, 2010
I hear the same thing!
by: Anonymous

The first thing EVERYBODY always says is, "Oh, I always wanted twins! You are so lucky!" Yes, lucky and blessed we may be w/ 2 more children, however, I have 3 months til we deliver and I can not stop thinking about how difficult our normal "every-day lives" will be from that point on! Yes, it would be awesome to have twins, and then give them "back" when they became too inconvenient... but we can't do that. Don't get me wrong, we are very excited for the birth of our twin boys and we love them so very much already..... BUT ...... it's still annoying to hear the same comment all the time!

Jan 11, 2010
I don't get it
by: Anonymous

I get those kinds of comment a lot. I understand that twins are fascinating, but I would never have wished for them. Such a hard pregnancy. I also would not have wished to have TWO babies in the NICU for a month, or to have twice the work. If you don't live it you'll never understand I guess. That is how it worked out though, and I would never trade them for anything.

Dec 17, 2009
Passive aggression
by: Aly

I'm more likely to experience people expressing remorse when they hear I'm having twins. My favorite is when people say they hope they aren't boys (they are.) My mom would probably say they just say those things because they are jealous.

Dec 08, 2009
forget about it ! clueless
by: Beth Laf

oh really!?!?!?!
You're jealous Im on bedrest, Im riding around the store on this electric old people cart , and i still am cramping from the activity ? My 4 year old cant sit on my lap cause im too sore
I havent had a full nights rest in 3 months
I was still suffering morning sick and nauseous at 5 months pregnant.
My chosen care provider refused to care for me though my pregnancy ?
Of course lets not forget the fact that I hurt about 10X more than a regular pregnancy ... and matching outfits, well im having a boy and a girl .. so thats out
lets not even consider how much extra this will add to my families expenses the next three years till out of diapers and formula, and did i tell you we have to go buy a new vehicle , cause our current truck only seats 5 not six ....

But truthfully, i dont think i would say any of that just smile nod and realize they are clueless

Dec 08, 2009
UGH! I know EXACTLY what you mean!!
by: Anonymous

I heard that many times throughout my pregnancy. Drove me insane! I actually told a few of them "Really? Because here I am pregnant with them and I never would have asked for this..." - obviously being a tad bit more realistic and practical than the women who, like you said, just think about the "cuteness" of it all. They would just kind of stand there dumbfounded, lol. But maybe that's why God chose to bless us with our twins in the first place - because he knew we would approach it realistically and be better prepraped than these other (ignorant) women!

Dec 07, 2009
truth
by: Anonymous

haha I think everyone says that because I hear it soo often! I think some women are more infatuated with the thought of twins rather than the actuality of having to take care of them.

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