Is it hard having twins when you already have a toddler?

I am 10 weeks pregnant with twins. I have a two year old who is as sweet as can be but is used to being the center of attention. He is the first grandbaby on my husbands side so he is VERY spoiled. I am concerned more for him. I don't want him to feel left out but at the same time I want to give my twins the attention they need. Is it difficult being a mother of twins when you already have a little one on your hands? And what advice can you give me to help in this situation? Thank you!

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May 20, 2016
Au Pair for Twins
by: Kellie - Website Owner

Have you ever considered hiring an Au Pair?
We just ran an article on this topic here on the website recently. It may be helpful to you, as Au Pairs offer live-in care for little ones at a really reasonable rate. Anyhow, here's the link to the article for more info:
Twins & Au Pairs

Hang in there Mamas! You are stronger than you know! :)

May 19, 2016
4,3,2 + twins
by: Gina

Thanks so much for your reply as I have 3 the same age yours were. I'm worried about the same things you originally were except we don't have the help.
I've been 'criticised'about being so organised so hopefully this will help.
How imperative do you think it is for help? I have LOTS of verbal support and people I can talk to, just nobody who can actually come over and take a hands on role. My husband is great but works 6 days.
I think my biggest worry is a caesar as I've heard docs try to talk you or of natural. I can't afford to be 'out of commission' for so long with the younger 3/bedrooms upstairs/food prep downstairs/school run twice daily for 3 kids/kinder twice 3 times a week etc.
Do you have any extra tips?
Thanks in advance.

Oct 02, 2012
I have a 4 yr old and 3yr old girl n expecting twins....
by: Brooke x

I love my girls so much and I'm sooo sooo nervouse with what to expect going from 2 kids to 4. I feel sick thinking off it and I dnt want my girls to feel left out there so close, :( there dad has them every 2nd week end and it's with my new partner who am having twins too, I love him very much but am very conflicted with emotions, my you gets daughter also has cystic fibrosis and needs a lot off care.... :( I feel like crying I want some tips and answers from ppl I dont no. I'm only 7wks 2days and was considering termination but Id feel horrible for throwing away such a blessing as twins. Pls help me.... Xx

May 22, 2011
twins and older siblings
by: Barbara

Felicia, Our girls were aged 4, 3 and 2 when we discovered that we were expecting twins. Initially I was worried, but then quite excited about the idea of twins. Needless to say, I was very concerned about managing. I had intended to return to work the next year, but put it off until the boys were in Kindergarten. I won’t kid you, it was challenging and quite demanding at times. We did have to make many adjustments to our our expectations and routines. It was difficult to juggle chores and give personal attention to each child. We had little time to pursue personal interests. The boys are now 22, so those days are long past. All of our five children are competent, caring, empathetic and responsible people whose company we really enjoy. I think that having had to share and allow for others’ needs has helped them to become mature and responsible adults. We are very proud of our children, and grateful that we had the opportunity to parent them. Although it was sometimes challenging, our children have been a great blessing to us.

Here’s my advice:

Accept any help that’s offered. (Grandma used to take one child at a time for outings.)
Plan simple meals that are easy to clean up.
Dad or Mom can plan for scheduled 1:1 time with each child (it could be a walk, library visit, or special treat)
Let your housekeeping standards relax for a while.
Do try to get your rest (especially in those first months).
Make a point of remembering (and perhaps recording) those beautiful moments that will soon be memories.
TRY to schedule time together as a couple.
On those difficult days try to realize that it DOES get easier.

Best wishes to you and your family as you embark on this exciting adventure!

Apr 18, 2011
Twins + 3 1/2 year old
by: Sara, mom if 3

It is hard. Our 3 year old was use to being the center of everything, my only child, the baby in the family, loved and adored solely by his parents, cousins, aunts and grandma. Then comes 2 babies. When he came to visit in the hospital he wouldn't even speak to me. Unfortunately so much of his life and routine has changed. He no longer has me all to himself, he's started riding the bus to and from preschool instead of me driving him, bedtime routines have changed. The demands of infant twins are immense. My advice would be to try to keep things as "normal" as possible although that may not be possible. My babies are only 5 weeks at this point so I'm confident that things will fall into place soon.

Mar 28, 2011
expecting twins and have 1 and 3 year old girls..
by: Melissa

It is overwhelming to say that least. I am 12 weeks pregnant with twins and have two girls, 16 months and 3 1/2. I'm very excited about having twins but am overwhelmed with the fact I will not have enough hands...but very excited. Going for an ultrasound tonight

Mar 20, 2011
Same Feelings Here, Too!
by: Barbie

I just wanted to comment and say that I feel the same way. I am about 14 weeks pregnant with twins, have a 2 year old little girl who is the center of our and her universe. The night I took the preg test, I got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head and cried and cried...for her and for our relationship. My husband and I never wanted more children so this was a total shock to us. Two days later, we found out it was twins, and I know this sounds bad, but I've been depressed ever since. I mean, I'm excited about new life and know that God is totally in control of our lives, but I'm still a little emotional about it. I think I've made myself believe that it's going to be so hard, that's it's probably going to be way eaiser than the mess I've made it out to be in my head.

This sounds sooo depressing, I promise I'm happy about the babies and will love them just as much as I do my first. Already do. But it doesn't change what I thought would be the rest of the my life...and her's!

Good luck. You can follow me at

Mar 18, 2011
Thank you!
by: Felicia

Thank you Angela for being honest. I know it is going to be hard, but we do have some help so hopefully it will be okay. My two year old is very loving and gentle. I really hope that doesn't change. My husband and I are going to really try to set a day where it is just about him. When I found out I was having twins, I cried for my son. I know he will love his new siblings, but at the same time I know it is going to be hard for him. His poor world is going to be turned upside down. :( We are very excited about our extending family. :)

Mar 17, 2011
toddler + twins
by: angela

i can say if you were doing it alone it would be hard, i have a 5 year old who was the only "baby" and now i have 9 month old twins, its very hard for him, he always wants my attention and time, but i am so busy trying to catch up with cleaning, and when i decide to try and do something with him, i am so tired really that i don't have the energy to do anything, he is SO bored and sometimes he makes me want to cry, because i watch him playing by himself with his toys and i just don't have the energy for him or time...its very exhausting and he acts up A LOT when the babies are up, when they are sleeping he seems to be quiet and don't bother me as much...its weird but i know he loves them to death because it shows and his teacher says thats all he talks about...(i thought he might have a jealousy issue)...if you got help take niece will take him when she can, and that is HUGE relief...sorry to scare you...just telling you how it is for me...

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